1. I Don’t Wanna Grow Up – An neither do I. This shirt symbolizes everything that is good about Mario and bad about life.

2. 1up Mushroom - If only everyone could have their very own 1up mushroom. Then when things go horribly wrong you could just end it all and restart at the beginning of the level.

3. Score with the Princess – One of the first idealized female influence in most men’s lives, the princess is hot. Take this shirt as you would.

4. Mario Revolution – Viva La Mario! Nice spoof of the popular Che Guevara t-shirt. On this t-shirt Che’s face has been replaced with that of the original revolutionary, Mario.

5. Mario Brother Plumbing – Established in 1985 the Mario Brothers Plumbing company has been doing most of their business in the Mushroom Kingdom however they are available for house calls.

6. Get a Life – Not just a simple put down, but advice… I’ mean you’ll probably need that for the next level.

7. Mario Warp Zone - I’ve tried climbing over walls in my home and workplace to find these. If only…

8. This is Why I’m Hot – Fire flowers are useful in winning arguments. Keep this in mind. The great thing about this way of throwing fireballs is that you don’t have to say words like “Hadouken”

9. Mario/Luigi 08 - The best choice our country could possibly make. True Story.

10. I’d Hit That - What is in that box? Gold Coins? Super Mushrooms? Fire Flowers? There’s only one way to find out. You’ve got to hit it.

Honorable Mentions (Basically means 12 Most Awesome Mario shirts, but 10 who ever heard of a top 12 list?):

Big M - Simple but powerful. The “Big M” is enough to make koopa troopas shake in their shells.

Oh snap – Parade around with the abusive taunting power of the Piranha Plant. (Razor Teeth not included)

Avast! In the spirit of really goofy and fun holidays (see No Pants Day or System Admin Day….I missed System Admin day this year because I off was being Awesome riding roller coasters at Kings Island), Be Awesome Instead will be celebrating International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Every September 19 ye shall speak as ye ol Pirate would. Ahoy, Avast, Arrr, Grog, Land Lubber and more are perfectly acceptable in all conversings today. Ye be happy and jolly because silliness is the holiday’s best selling point.

To help out all me mates, here be ye the Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrr…Get ye booty (like treasure…not like…oh who cares…)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

*photo from flickr by kk+

1. Tattoos are permanent. Is the design timeless?
A tattoo should stand the test of time. If you have a Backstreet Boys or Gary Coleman tattoo, then I am sincerely sorry. While Chuck Norris and Star Wars may last forever, you might want to choose something will still make sense 20+ years from now. For Example, Joe Dirt is timeless…

2. Tattoos are permanent. Are you drunk?
This could go either way… While it might be beneficial to be slightly drunk while getting the work done, you probably want to evaluate your choice of art work wile sober. I mean seriously, how else would a tattoo like this happen?

3. Tattoos are permanent. Getting a tattoo as part of a bet can be a bad idea.
If you have to get a tattoo as a result of losing a bet I shudder to thing what it is/says…If you win a bet and have to get a tat then I’m really confused. A good example of this consideration is this medical fiasco involving a tattoo, a camera phone and a penis.

4. Tattoos are permanent. Tramp stamps are for girls.
Combing both consideration #2 and How I Met Your Mother, consider how silly a dude would look with a butterfly tattoo…oh a straight dude.

5. Tattoos are permanent. You won’t always look this good.

Some tattoos on girls are extremely sexy. For instance the really cool lower back tattoo (yes, the “tramp stamp”). However, your body will sag and bulge in places over time. How will your ink look once you turn 50? Sure it looks good now and probably helps the dating life…but it probably won’t look cool forever. Also, you may want to consider placement. How do you think this will look after a few kids?

6. Tattoos are permanent. Consider your design.
While tribal designs might look very cool, family portraits probably won’t.

7. Tattoos are permanent. Celebrities…really?
This is how you want to choose to express yourself? How low must your self-esteem be to get a tattoo of a celebrity? Now if I was a celebrity I might get a tattoo of me on me…just to be vein… or funny, whatever. But explain a celebrity tattoo like this:

Also, if you are thinking about getting a tattoo like anything Mike Tyson has…well..just don’t.

8. Tattoos are permanent. Can your artist spell?
I wouldn’t think this needed much explanation however if you do a simple Google search for “misspelled tattoos” you get over 122,000 searches, leading to me it’s not uncommon.

9. 入れ墨は、恒久的な. If you can’t read that then why bother… Want a Japanese/Chinese tattoo? Unless you speak the language your artist could make it say “I like cheese” instead of “I am awesome.” I realize these are all the rage now and you fell all deep and cultural but it just seems a bit risky. Then again maybe you enjoy telling people your ink means “strength” and “courage” while it actually means “dog” and “time passes”, which I’m sure is just as profound.

I sincerely hope you have taken the time to consider these…um…well… considerations. I would also like to point out that I do realize you can get tattoo removal…but that wasn’t as funny.